All day, I am busy being pregnant. Dreaming of all kinds of magical things. For instance, today, while showering, I was thinking about how I should use natural deodorant - and imagined that one day, my daughter would be like, "thank you mom, you were so amazing, and now I don't have cancer". I seriously had that thought. Weird, I know. Is it even possible for my deodorant to give my child cancer?
I push my stomach out in the mirror to see how I will look when I start to show. I even caress it and nonchalantly pretend like it is totally normal. Just to see how is feels. Do other people do this?
The second I get into bed, the fear sets in. I jab myself in the boob. shit, not as sore as last night.. Immediately, I am on my blackberry, googling "if my breast tenderness goes away, is it a bad sign"? Oh google, you are such a tease. And it is almost as if I am looking for bad news. Really? This is beginnign to get out of hand. I should really stop sleeping with my blackberry.
I think I need to be banned from googling anything pregnancy related unless it feels really serious. Maybe I need a pregnancy trainer that I can text anytime - I can ask questions, like, "if I sneeze, will it put too much pressure on my abdomen and cause problems with my pregnancy?" And she can reply, "NO! Go to bed, everything is fine." She can be my pregnancy sanity.
I just squeezed my boob again to see if it was sore.
I have probably done it five times since I have been writing.
I did read one thing that reisnated with me... It was something like, "Enjoy this break in breast tenderness, because it will come back. Not everything is a warning sign. Just try to do everything you can to have a healthy pregnancy; eat right, get lots of rest, drink lots of water and take your prenatals, the rest is going to happen no matter what you do.
Well, I'm off to bed. Thanks for listening.
P.S. Our first Dr. appt is on September 3rd. Yay!
P.S.s. Girl Name: Isabella Sophia
Boy Name: Vincenzo James (Inspired by Vincenzio Bambino and Mini B.! Thanks : )