tww...

For weeks, I have been addicted to pregnancy forums online and have always wondered what the crap "tww" was. Well, now I know.

The two week wait.

Oh how I LOATH the two week wait. It's funny how many women will tell you to just stop thinking about it, and it will happen. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? And how am I supposed to STOP thinking about it when it is all I want to think about? Easy to say when you already got your positive test results. Easy.

I spent all weekend telling my family that I was hopefully pregnant. Starting my very own rumors. I took a test on Monday, even though, once again, I knew it was still too early. My logic? The test was really only $5, so even if it was "just for fun", at least I didn't waste too much money. And why can't I take one once a day - who am I hurting.

Turns out I am actually hurting myself. I went with Mario today to buy some more tests - and even though I promised a friend I would wait until tomorrow morning, I couldn't help myself when I got home. Negative. I am actually feeling a little sad. And my hopes are a little lower - this can't be good. So now, I am not hopefully searching the net for baby room ideas and pregnancy blogs - but worrying that I might not be pregnant.

I could swear I "feel" pregnant. I really do. I still have high hopes and look forward to the next test, which I will take tomorrow morning. I am not kidding myself by attempting to wait yet another day. If it is negative, I will rationalize the same way that I did today - it is still to early crazy lady!!

And I will leave the room a little more sad - but still hopeful for the next days test.